How To Grow Your Goddess

Photo by Bobby Rogers 

Written By Jaliessa Sipress

When I say “goddess,” you may picture Venus, Aphrodite, Oshun or even Beyonce, decked out in gold and jewels and framed with bright auras of love, light and sexuality. This is our ancient archetype. A depiction sold to us as dream stuff, as someone or something else’s reality, or worse, something only money, power and potions can create. Channeling the goddess has been a long-term goal for many women and many witches seek to connect to and work with the powers of the Goddesses that most speak to them. But we never talk about what it means to actually be a goddess or have even defined this type of divinity in ways that feel tangible and useful to our everyday lives. The goddess has become this elusive, primeval statue we worship instead of the energy we embody. We have been separated from our sainthood, told that the soft, serene nature of the goddess’ power is no match for the cities we now inhibit. But a Goddess by definition is simply a woman who is adored. A true goddess is recognized for their draw of adoration, love and affection, not just for their jewels and gemstones. And so, a separation from the goddess is a separation from the self. A splitting from the parts of us that need attention, love and validation the most. If we are to confine the goddess to an archetype specified by status and symbol, then we constrain our ability to embody its nature and limit ourselves to only trying on our most honest imitation. So, what does it mean to truly be a goddess?  What does it look like to live in the modern age and still be steeped in the glory of devotion and admiration from the sources we most respect?

To truly pay homage to the legacy of the divine energy, we must end our endurance. We must allow ourselves the space to be savored and gift ourselves the time be adored rather than tolerated. We have to stop absorbing energy that make us sick, sad and broke. Not to be confused with sustaining our systems of survival, to end our endurance is to stop accepting circumstances that call for extraneous compromise. Oftentimes, the systems that we spend our energy strengthening everyday leave us emotionally, spiritually and sexually tired. We feel forced to show up to jobs that don’t align with our values and consistently undercharge and overwork ourselves. We understate our services and sell ourselves short, never creating space for connection and reciprocity. Divinity is only unattainable because we have settled for survival. If we want to feel worthy of being worshipped, we have to be the first ones to vouch for our own value. This means saying “yes” to things we are qualified for and passionate about instead of backing down and dampening your desires. It means raising our rates at milestone marks or just because we know we are worth it. It means not letting our fear of success and esteem stop us from the things we have worked hard to deserve. But it also means leaning in to the act of letting go. We have to remember that growth is a game of catch and release. If we are ever going to flourish we have to clear a path. We have to focus.

In America, we are taught to try and sprout a new limb rather than release the responsibilities that burden us to reach for what we really want. We have never been taught to slow down and unpack all we are carrying. We have to start our own systems of assessment. Not only knowing what is hurting us and what is helping us, but also how and when to nurture the things we need and abandon what has already been spent or served its value. A goddess lives a lavish life because everything has its place as was chosen with the keenest forethought and curation. There is a system of prioritization and hierarchy implemented to make sure her surroundings matches her worth. It can be as small as starting with our own room, but there has to be a shift in the ways we recognize what is sacred. Our time and tears are sacred. Our spaces, our bodies and our insights are sacred, and that means taking full control of everything we can. A witch’s power must be in her pride, rearranging what’s around her to fit the needs of her highest, most spoiled self. It’s not about treating yourself but treasuring yourself. A practice of filtering all that comes your way through an attunement with what your past, present and future self require to feel grounded, glorious, safe and respected.

We have to start finding freedom that feeds us. Not working long weekends is no longer good enough. We deserve better. We deserve the kind of clarity that brings opportunity to its knees. The kind of crystal clear focus and intention that will make our day-to-day feel like living a lucid dream. We grow our goddess by nurturing the parts of her that are bratty, decisive and demanding. Not just to make other people suffer, but to make ourselves abundantly aware of exactly what kind of needs, wants and worries we are working with. We must learn how to receive. How to say “thank you” instead of “I’m sorry,” to never apologize for taking up space because we know the value of our work and what we bring to the table. We have to make our visions vivid and unshakeable so that the people around us can step into something we carefully created. Being a goddess is not just about looking the part. It is about doing the work required to make everything around us sparkle with opulent sincerity. We’ve worked hard for this, and a goddess should never have to settle for anything less than the best.